[panel 1]

TITLE CARD: HOW TO INTERPRET CAT BODY LANGUAGE

[panel 2]

Muffin lies on her back. 

"I respect and trust you. And if you try to touch my belly I will shred the flesh from your bones."

[panel 3]

Vampire Cat sits in a funny position with one leg sticking up.

"A perfectly normal way to sit. Facing a wall. For two hours."

[panel 4]

Muffin has her back arched, her tail poofed, and is baring her fangs.

"No. Extremely no."